It has been four months since my last entry and my, have things changed in these four months. So I now reside in Japan, with my wife and have started my PhD. Many changes indeed. I’ve been keeping everyone updated with my status mainly through facebook, because well no one reads this blog (yes I like to remind my phantom viewers of this fact).

Life is very much different now; I’m more focused towards research and work. I have a goal, which is to complete my PhD within 3 years. For those unfamiliar, people usually finish in >3 years; so it’s a formidable task.

Living in a different country hasn’t changed my lifestyle too much; just mainly my diet is different. I just play much less basketball now and work more.

And lastly I am a married man now. I’ve actually always treated my better half as my wife anyway but now I have paper proof; so it hasn’t been too different. It is definitely a big step forward and I need to think more about my future now. In the meantime, I have a poster to make for a presentation on Monday. Life in Japan: busy times.

People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.

There are many reasons why we don’t go after our dreams. The main reason, I believe, is that our dreams have faded away along the years. We dream as kids to be firemen, doctors, pilots or astronauts. Because at that point of our lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. Kids are never afraid to dream. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.

We grow to believe that we are unable to achieve our dreams; and we become fearful. Why don’t people’s hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams? Because that’s what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don’t like to suffer. Fear is the main obstacle to almost everything in life. The fear of suffering, fear of disappointment and naturally we’re afraid that, in pursuing our dream, we might lose everything we’ve won.

The Alchemist is a book about listening to your heart and following your dreams. It tales the story of a shepherd in search of his dream and treasure. It describes his journey and the lessons he learns along the way. And by following his heart, he is able to overcome his fear and gain the most important treasures in life. Follow his magnificent journey and may it be inspiration for you to follow your heart and dreams. Because when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

*in italics are quotes borrowed from the book, either directly or paraphrased.

“Men’s natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart.” – Confucius

Time is limited and as I get older I feel that I should focus my time on doing things that are worthwhile. The number one thing that I avoid doing is playing video games. And the activity that I try to do the most is reading, especially books on philosophy or books related to work i.e. computers and biology. This need, of doing worthwhile things, really stems from thinking about my future. The need to start a family, purchase a house and advance my career. But are things like this universally important to everyone?

I guess the real question to ask is, what do you want out of life? And that’s a tough question to answer; especially when you’re alone sitting in your room. I have asked myself this question many times. My answers usually have something to do with “helping people” and “being happy”. Not very specific but it’s a good start. Helping people gives you one of the greatest joys a person can experience, but there are just so many different ways to help people. My current work now helps biologists understand kidneys more, which may someday indirectly help patients with kidney problems. But most of the times, I just see myself working on the computer.

So back to the original question, what do you do in your spare time? Lately, I’ve been obsessed with a book called “The Alchemist”. I highlighted passages in the book that I enjoy and can relate to, watched “The English Patient (again)” to help my visualisation of the desert (The English Patient’s setting is in the desert), and read the book some more. And if you know what “The Alchemist” is about, you’ll know that I am constantly striving to understand the world better and to find myself. So although this blog entry seems to be going all over the place, my main message is encapsulated in the quote stated right at the start of my entry; what a person does in his/her spare time has a lot to do with what the person is like.

But me being me, I didn’t really want to publish this entry because it is so poorly written. And I’m one of those people that scribbles ideas on a piece of paper and then crumples it up x100! Being a perfectionist is more negative than positive!

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most, always like it the least – Lord Chesterfield 1748 in a letter to his son.

Have you ever felt compelled to give someone advice or to advise them of their mistake when you know that they have erred but hesitated to do so? I know I have, on many occasions. For example, you may notice an apparent and undesirable bad habit that a friend has. Most if not all times, I would like to tell them about it and I have many times in the past. Sometimes they tell me “Yeah I know, it’s something I’ve been trying to adjust”. But after a while when you meet your friend again, they don’t seem to have changed at all. Other times people like to justify their bad habits or they tell me it’s really not much of a big deal. And at that particular moment, I don’t really have anything to say. For once I would like someone tell me “Oh sorry I hadn’t noticed, thanks for telling me” upon hearing my advice. But most people are aware of their problems, they just sweep it under the carpet and it resurfaces every now and then.

So over the years, I’ve lost enthusiasm towards giving people advice. If people want to change, they will do it themselves. More importantly people don’t like it when you’re not minding your own business. But as a friend to the many people who have problems, I still want to tell my friends how having such a habit is bad for them. Sure I have many bad and poor habits myself (who doesn’t?) and I’m not a qualified psychologist/counsellor of some sort. But I still would like to tell them.

On the contrary, I would love to have someone tell me of my problems. I would appreciate the effort of them telling me of my problems. But most people don’t like to talk about these things to avoid awkward conversations. And I have to admit I’m not the most inviting person when it comes to conversations, so I have yet met someone who has told me of my problems (or perhaps I’m just perfect). It would be nice to have someone come and tell me of a bad habit that I have; for example “Hey Dave, you know that yawning without covering your mouse is pretty rude in Australia?”. I have been told that once when I first came to Australia, and have since never yawned without covering my mouth.

I have recently read a post from zen habits about “being still”. It described today’s society as one that is in constant motion; one where we spend each moment doing something or another. A busy lifestyle is seen as one that is productive and engaging; on the contrary when we are being idle or still we are percieved as being lazy or inefficient. As a consequence we try to jam pack as much as we can in a day; when we get a spare moment we’ll check our emails, our phones or read up on news. We feel the need to constantly bombard ourselves with information so that we seem to make the most out of 24 hour day.

However while we might be achieving more, there is a price to pay. In the exact words of Leo (founder of zen habits) “This comes at a cost: we lose that time for contemplation, for observing and listening. We lose peace.” Life is all about balance, and we can’t neglect the part of us that requires this peace. With that I decided to be still for a moment and reflect.

I sat and pondered on my current situation. I looked back 4 years ago, a fresh honours graduate going through a tough relationship. I suffered from depression, low self esteem, and a general lack of direction. It was tough back then, especially when I lacked the support I needed. It is a very long story (which I plan to graduately write about), but I am glad to have met many people along the way that made things better. Life is very different these days. I’m in more control of my life and much happier. I still have the down times but they don’t last. I have chosen to be happy.

Thinking back and reflecting makes me appreciate the things I have today. I enjoy my work, I am in good health and have a better half. Sometimes it is nice to be still; it makes you appreciate the things you have in life.

I enjoy reading blogs to see what others’ think and reflect on their ideas. Since I like to write I always like to compare my blog to the ones I read. Most of the times I just feel that my entries are never as good as the ones I read. When I write about technology and then read another blog on technology, I always have this inferior feeling and feel like removing my blog. This is why I don’t really like to publicise what I write, which wasn’t my motive to starting this blog in the first place.

I know a lot of people like to compare, and it is just a part of us. Parents almost always compare their kids to other kids, especially my mother. Its good to have a benchmark but sometimes comparing too much leaves us worst off. I can’t really help it though and I always set my bar up too high. I compare myself to professionals who specialise themselves in an area but logic doesn’t come into play whenever I compare.

Stephen Covey describes comparing as one of six metastasizing cancers; the other five are criticizing, complaining, competing, contending, and cynicism. I have had 3 of the 6 cancers throughout my childhood; competing, contending and comparing in almost everything I do. I’m much more lax these days but I still find things to compare. Its hard not to compare, but I guess the next time I find myself making a comparison I’ll try to think in a logical manner. And if I really want to contend and compete, I’ll try to see the value of such actions. Besides sometimes it’s ok to be inferior to someone who is superior.

I recently found the zen habits blog page and have pretty much fallen in love with it. I have found all the articles to be extremely useful and agree with the philosophy that is conveyed in each article. The site advocates the idea of simplicity, elegance and understanding to better yourself in aspects of work, family and everyday living. I can see why the site has become so popular.

After reading a handful of articles, I found that the articles I enjoyed the most were written by Leo, who is also the owner and founder of the site. Curious to find out more I looked at the about page, which described the site and the journey that Leo has started and continuing. Firstly Leo is a modest man, and he likes to remind people that what he has done isn’t extraordinary and each of us can achieve what he has. I found that the life he was living and has achieved is really what I have always wanted. But with me I am still lacking that motivation to get the ball rolling.

With Leo, it all started with trying to quit smoking. He had tried previously to quit but had always failed. This is probably akin to my attempts at trying to achieve something. However this time around Leo’s wife, who also smokes, was pregnant and had also quit smoking for the sake of the foetus. Leo had also promised his daughter that he would quit. Knowing that if he didn’t quit smoking, his wife would also resume smoking. So this time, for the sake of the health of his wife Leo had managed to quit smoking. And this was the start of an incredible journey.

From his experience of quitting smoking, Leo recorded the steps that he took to gain his achievement. He used this recipe for success in other aspects of his life, and this has enabled Leo to achieve various feats. What I found interesting is that his journey is basically the one in which I am trying to take. Leo has become healthier, physically and mentally stronger, and more financially stable through pretty much better living. If you have kept up with my blog, I have continually tried to get more sleep, exercise and eat healthier. I, like Leo, also enjoy writing and helping people. But what I have failed to do is keep myself motivated and making things habitual. I am glad that I have found this site, and it will be my aim to be like Leo.