You know that feeling. Where you’re that close to finishing a project, or achieving a goal, or crossing a task off your to-do list … but you just can’t muster the energy. You’ve lost interest. You’re exhausted. Drained. And you don’t know why. From zenhabits.

I have been burned out several times in my life while working on big projects. There are several trends I see during the times I’ve burned out: it’s a big project where I am the only person working on it, I spend the first couple of months working tirelessly and after a while my interest has dropped. And the article from zenhabits describes it beautifully:

It’s like driving toward a mountain in the distance. You can drive for hours, but the mountain doesn’t seem to get any closer. And spinning your wheels gets real tiring real fast.

And the rest of the article talks about how you should set goals, work less and just enjoy your free time. I find a balance between work and life are extremely important and the article stresses this point and I couldn’t agree more.

I’d just like to add a further point of “How to start working”. Sure we may have all the right requirements in the car to start the engine, inspiration, motivation and anticipation, but we first need to start the car. This is also a problem I usually face. But usually I overcome this by doing some extremely simple/mundane work to get started; writing down stuff/taking notes is usually the best way I get my engine started.

Then just like a snowball rolling down a mountain, it turns to an avalanche. And hopefully it keeps on rolling

When I look back on all these worries I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened — Sir Winston Churchill

I love reading articles that I can totally related to and understand. Today I read this one titled “Self Doubt: A Disease that Doesn’t Discriminate!”. The article starts off much in the style of “The Eighth Habit” by Stephen Covey, where the author writes about common problems everyday people faced. I could relate to many of the listed issues related to self doubt; “What if I’m not qualified enough?”, “What if I get all excited – like I always do – and then fail?”, “What if I disappoint people?” which ultimately leads to “Hmm, perhaps I need a little more time to plan and think about this”.

The only thing I wanted to add to the article is that fear is such a deeply embedded disease. And even when we have acknowledged our problem of fear and made a decision to face our fears, it is an extremely difficult problem to face. Rejection and humiliation are the worst feelings in the world, which is why fear is so powerful. So while the article was great, I felt it was a little tough on people whose lives are affected by fear. I whole heartedly agree that the solution is you, because only you can face your fears and manage your fears. And it’s one of those problems that takes so much effort to correct but the tiniest set back can undo all that was done. The solution I believe will involve a lot of support from friends and family, and taking very small steps on the stairway of fearlessness.

The seven myths about sleep.

Sleep is the watering place of the soul to which it hastens at night to drink at the sources of life.
In sleep we receive confirmation … that we must go on living.
Abram Tertz (Russian writer and dissident)

It is no secret that sleep plays such as important part in our lives. However there are many (including me) that choose to neglect sleep. Whether they want to get more work done, believe that sleep is a waste of time or just stay up for the heck of it, sleep is pretty low priority. The article I included at the top of this post explains some of the seven myths about sleep.

The gist of the article is really this: we need 8 hours of sleep, no more and no less. Sleep too much or too little, we will develop the same problems. While there have been some very successful figures that functioned on less than 8 hours of sleep per day, it is not ideal. Additionally, in the article I got an interesting perspective on catching up on sleep. Although I find it hard to sleep in on the weekends, due to my circadian rhythm, some people can and like to sleep in over the weekend. I remembered hearing from a source that we can “store” sleep, so sleeping in on the weekends either provides us with a sleeping buffer over the weekdays or we can recharge our lack of sleep. And while this may be true, this will utimately upset our circadian rhythm and normal sleeping pattern which I never really thought about.

The other myths covered were about medication and chronic sleeping problems, which I don’t think I have. If you suffer from chronic insomnia, see a physician. If sleeping problems come sparingly take medication or sleeping pills. And tylenol PM is not a better alternative than a prescription drug.

While there are many mysterties to sleep, one thing is for sure; we all need to sleep. This necessity is the basis of my belief that during sleep our body revitalises and replenishes our bodily supplies, much like a gardener watering the plant that is our soul.

Saturday night 11:30pm. What better way to spend time than writing random facts about cancer.

Q. What is the relationship between telomeres and cancer?
A. Increased telomerase activity can increase longevity of cells, but it is also implicated in cancer formation. Almost 90% of cancer cells have been found to have enhanced activity, and a cancer cell usually divides about 80 times before a tumour mass becomes large enough to be detected In contrast, normal human cells usually divide 30 to 50 times before telomeres become too short and doubling stops.

Q. Who was the first individual to find the gene for breast cancer?
A. Mary Claire King (1946-) determined that in 5 to 10% of those women with breast cancer, the cancer is the result of a mutation of a gene on chromosome 17, the BRCA1 (Breast Cancer 1). The BRCA1 gene is a tumour suppressor gene and is also linked to ovarian cancer. Subsequently, other researchers were able to clone the gene and pinpoint its exact location on chromosome 17.

Q. What is an example of a drug developed through pharmacogenomics that is associated with cancer?
A. Gleevec (approved by the FDA in 2001) is a drug developed for a rare type of genetically caused chronic myeloid leukemia. In this type of leukemia, pieces of two different chromosomes break off and reattach on the opposite chromosome, causing a chromosome translocation. This abnormality causes a gene for a blood cell enzyme to continually manufacture the enzyme, resulting in high levels of white blood cells in the bone marrow and blood. Gleevec was specifically engineered to inhibit the enzyme created by the translocation mutation and to thus block the rapid growth of white blood cells.

Today (6th August) I gave blood; it was my first time ever and at the start of it I was a little anxious. I don’t like needles; I can usually handle pain fairly well but there’s just something about needles I don’t like. Nonetheless I made the first step towards doing something worthwhile.

It happened very randomly; I was walking to get some candy and the next minute I decided to go and give blood (and I didn’t even get to the lolly shop). We actually talked about giving blood over dinner a couple of nights ago and I guess it got to me. I walked to the van and approached the friendly staff, two of which were psychology students studying the blood giving experience for first time donors. Usually people make appointments, but it just so happened that there was one last time spot at 3:30pm, which was the time then.

As I thought I would only be out for a little while getting candy, I didn’t bring a jacket. So while waiting I was suffering the consequences and hence shivering, which could be from a combination of my anxiety and chilliness although at that time I thought it was probably just the weather. I filled in the paperwork and the pre donation questionnaire, which I offered to participate in, and there was a bunch of questions asking about how I was feeling. I have to say I was feeling a little more negative than usual.

Once it was my turn I walked in van. I got pricked for a haemoglobin test and the result was good; I had a reading of 165, which is quite high according to the nurse. My blood pressure was also good; 121 / 71, so physically I wasn’t stressed. Then came the moment of truth. I jumped on the bed and laid out my left arm trying not to think about the needle. I avoided looking at the needle, and in an instant there was a quick sting and that was it; it was in me. I don’t remember much discomfort as I was happily passing out my fluids. It ended in about 10-15 minutes and was given a popper, cheese, crackers and chocolate. I had to wait 15 minutes before they let me go so I used it to fill the post donation questionnaire.

It had the same questions, but this time around when I was filling out the form I felt much more positive. I felt more confident, more at ease and happy. It is somewhat like the feeling you get after finishing an exam. The feelings experienced were quite different before and after the blood donation. There was also a feeling of righteousness and peace. I know giving blood isn’t so much of a big deal but you can’t help feeling like a better person. I have already made an appointment for next time and I know this time round it won’t be as negative.

So I just finished watching part two of Dead Tired, a documentary on sleep that first aired on SBS last week Wednesday, which was a serendipitous find as I was just channel flicking. Part two of the series dealt with insomnia and how it is also associated with depression, anxiety, hormone levels and medication. I was particularly interested in this documentary as I have recently developed a very poor sleep habit and sometimes suffer from insomnia. One of the explanations for insomnia is that people suffering from insomnia have a deficiency in the hormone (melatonin), which helps switch off parts of the brain so that you can get to sleep. One condition that affects the level of melatonin is anxiety, which leads to higher levels of cortisol affecting the production of melatonin. Actually cortisol is referred to as the “stress hormone” as its levels increase in response to stress and anxiety. Coming back to the topic of melatonin switching off the brain, now I understand what people mean when they say that they can’t switch off their brains when they suffer from insomnia. Several solutions were offered and discussed, such as consultation with a specialist, taking medication and yoga. It seemed that the most effective way to curing anxiety caused insomnia was yoga, where regular exercise helped regulate a normal breathing pattern and slower pulse thus lowering anxiety.

Another segment of the documentary dealt with our biological clock and the circadian cycle. Our bodies are actually synchronised with the circadian cycle (24hr), which helps explain the concept of jet lag since we need time to adjust to the new time zone. Our biological clocks determine when we become tired and hence it is very important to maintain a biological clock that is in sync with the 24 hour clock. Interestingly, it was shown how 11 and 13 year old children have altered biological clocks due to the hormones present in the body at those respective ages. An eleven year old would sleep at 9pm and wake up around 7am. However there is a 2 hour delay in a thirteen year old, and consequently they sleep at 11pm and wake up around 9am, which would make waking up for school very difficult. A bright light therapy was described in the documentary where a shining light was used to help reset a person’s biological clock, since our bodies actually use light as a stimulus to synchronise our biological clocks.

I am glad that I was able to catch the documentary showing as it will definitely make me think about my own sleeping patterns and how sleep isn’t as disposable as I make it to be. Time to sleep on it

So I’ve been in a slump lately, which can be attributed to several factors; lack of sleep, lack of nutrition and lack of exercise. Coincidently, I was watching a documentary last week about sleep on SBS called “Awake is the new sleep”; it documented how lack of sleep can severely affect a person’s lifestyle. It was very intriguing, even though I knew the importance of sleep. An important message that was conveyed in the documentary and also why I brought up the documentary, was that to have a healthy lifestyle we need the three pillars of health which are composed of good nutrition, exercise and sleep. As such I suffered the consequences of having no pillars to support my health.

Today is the first day of the month, a good time to start a new regime. I went grocery shopping tonight and purchased almost 120 dollars worth of groceries. I bought lots of fruits, vegetables and breakfast! I’ve been buying food from the university for almost two weeks now, and besides wasting a lot of money, it has been unhealthy. I have also finished doing some light skipping and weights, and necessary cleaning of the bathroom! And my mind is definitely much more clear and active now. A week ago I would have difficulty writing my blog and just thinking concisely. I should really remember the importance of good health.

I know I can easily lose focus and lose track of things, but for once I would like to keep focused. It has been physically and mentally rewarding, and it is only day one.