Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most, always like it the least – Lord Chesterfield 1748 in a letter to his son.

Have you ever felt compelled to give someone advice or to advise them of their mistake when you know that they have erred but hesitated to do so? I know I have, on many occasions. For example, you may notice an apparent and undesirable bad habit that a friend has. Most if not all times, I would like to tell them about it and I have many times in the past. Sometimes they tell me “Yeah I know, it’s something I’ve been trying to adjust”. But after a while when you meet your friend again, they don’t seem to have changed at all. Other times people like to justify their bad habits or they tell me it’s really not much of a big deal. And at that particular moment, I don’t really have anything to say. For once I would like someone tell me “Oh sorry I hadn’t noticed, thanks for telling me” upon hearing my advice. But most people are aware of their problems, they just sweep it under the carpet and it resurfaces every now and then.

So over the years, I’ve lost enthusiasm towards giving people advice. If people want to change, they will do it themselves. More importantly people don’t like it when you’re not minding your own business. But as a friend to the many people who have problems, I still want to tell my friends how having such a habit is bad for them. Sure I have many bad and poor habits myself (who doesn’t?) and I’m not a qualified psychologist/counsellor of some sort. But I still would like to tell them.

On the contrary, I would love to have someone tell me of my problems. I would appreciate the effort of them telling me of my problems. But most people don’t like to talk about these things to avoid awkward conversations. And I have to admit I’m not the most inviting person when it comes to conversations, so I have yet met someone who has told me of my problems (or perhaps I’m just perfect). It would be nice to have someone come and tell me of a bad habit that I have; for example “Hey Dave, you know that yawning without covering your mouse is pretty rude in Australia?”. I have been told that once when I first came to Australia, and have since never yawned without covering my mouth.