A scene in “The Frighteners” reminded me about something I read a while back. By memory I think it was in Stephen Covey’s Eighth Habit. It asked the reader to visualise something very powerful; imagine yourself sitting at your own funeral. You are about to listen to your friends and family give a summary of your life; what would you like to hear from them? Do you want them to describe you as someone who was intelligent, friendly, giving, loving, confident? In other words, what would you want your legacy to be.

In the movie, the main actress’s husband had recently died. He was at his own funeral and a man who knew him described him as someone who wasn’t the most generous and most giving person but however without doubt had a heart of gold. I always imagine myself as a ghost sitting at my own funeral, which sounds pretty terrible, but I would like to hear about the legacy I left behind or there lack of. I would like to leave behind a legacy that brings the best out of people, one that reunites people and one that gives people the energy to be generous and helpful. I know if I died today, that wouldn’t be the eulogy I would receive. So sometimes it is good to think about my death, because it helps me refocus and think about my life.

I watched Apocalypto yesterday and although I don’t like using the word epic (since it is overused by young people), that would be the word to describe the film. The make up, the sceneries and the actors looked amazing. Although academics and historians have blasted the movie for its inaccurate portrayals of Mayan Civilisation and other things such as historical dates, I have learned to watch movies (especially Hollywood films) as a fictional piece of art but I do understand that some people will believe in everything that they see. Nevertheless I absolutely enjoyed watching the film and in particular there was one scene that I really enjoyed, and would like to share.

I have sat and pondered over the meaning and message of this simple story. It’s a simple message, we are sad when we don’t have what we want. And when we get what we want, we want more. It’s true to the core. I remember as a kid, I had a video game console but with no games. The game I wanted more than anything else in this world was Street Fighter 2. But it was sold for a ridiculous price, since I was in PNG and these things are very rare and valuable. I told my parents and myself that I would only need to have one game and I would be content if I got Street Fighter 2. After gaining possession of the game, I remember soon after I got bored of the game and actually wanted more games even when I assured my parents and myself that I would only want one game! Almost 2 decades later, I find myself in the same situation where I have this superficial want. It’s ok to want more, but sometimes we need to distinguish between a want and a need.

The beauty of the story is that you can relate the story to many different scenarios. You can relate it to how we all keep taking from nature and this world; how we keep asking for more and are never content; and generally how we are just damn insatiable because we all have holes. I love the Buddhist philosophy; they believe that desire and ignorance lie at the root of suffering. We all need to develop that mentality; we need to know what we want, and want what we have.

I don’t remember how the conversation about Bougainville started, but there I was talking to a colleague about its natural beauty and how uncorrupted the place was due to it separateness from the rest of the world. Bougainville is where I grew up and the place my family moved to when I was only 1 year old. I have very fond memories of the place and I can’t remember anything bad from the place. Even when the war started and we had to evacuate I didn’t feel scared. Perhaps that was due to my naivety as a kid, but I definitely think it was also associated with the environment in which I grew up. Like I said, all memories were pretty much positive.

I always enjoy talking about Bougainville (despite the negative connotations of the name in Australia [for the uninitiated look up Bogan in Aussie slang]), because my memories of the place were so perfect. I can always remember how sincere the locals were every morning when greeting us. Our workers were always happy and everyone just smiled. The beach was just down the road and we could always enjoy a majestic sunset, although at 4 years old I would hardly appreciate such beauties. On occassions we would visit Loloho, which to me will always be the most beautiful beach in the world. The water was crystal clear and you could swim with an abundance of sea creatures, although my dad would argue that that was a good thing since he stepped on a sea urchin and needed to go to the hospital. It was a simple life that I loved.

I never did understand why we had to leave; all I knew was that the BRA started this war. And as a kid I would just do as I was told. I still remember gunshots at night and the helicopters, although I don’t remember being scared or worried. It was only until recently when I talked to a friend who asked me about the documentary, Coconut revolution. I had never heard of the documentary and after some googling, I became very interested in watching it seeing how little I knew about Bougainville and the BRA war. I managed to find a copy and it was an eye opener. I understood the cause of the war and came to respect it. Deep down I think I was angry at the war because it made me leave my home, most of all my belongings and my dog. But after seeing and hearing about some of the unjust that was happening, I am happy something was done. Although war is never the perfect solution, I can see why it broke out. Years of betrayal and corporate irresponsibility from the large mining companies would brew the anger that would drive a war.

I do wish that I day I can visit Kieta and Arawa again. It would bring back so many fond memories. To this day, it is still the only paradise I know of.

So I just finished watching part two of Dead Tired, a documentary on sleep that first aired on SBS last week Wednesday, which was a serendipitous find as I was just channel flicking. Part two of the series dealt with insomnia and how it is also associated with depression, anxiety, hormone levels and medication. I was particularly interested in this documentary as I have recently developed a very poor sleep habit and sometimes suffer from insomnia. One of the explanations for insomnia is that people suffering from insomnia have a deficiency in the hormone (melatonin), which helps switch off parts of the brain so that you can get to sleep. One condition that affects the level of melatonin is anxiety, which leads to higher levels of cortisol affecting the production of melatonin. Actually cortisol is referred to as the “stress hormone” as its levels increase in response to stress and anxiety. Coming back to the topic of melatonin switching off the brain, now I understand what people mean when they say that they can’t switch off their brains when they suffer from insomnia. Several solutions were offered and discussed, such as consultation with a specialist, taking medication and yoga. It seemed that the most effective way to curing anxiety caused insomnia was yoga, where regular exercise helped regulate a normal breathing pattern and slower pulse thus lowering anxiety.

Another segment of the documentary dealt with our biological clock and the circadian cycle. Our bodies are actually synchronised with the circadian cycle (24hr), which helps explain the concept of jet lag since we need time to adjust to the new time zone. Our biological clocks determine when we become tired and hence it is very important to maintain a biological clock that is in sync with the 24 hour clock. Interestingly, it was shown how 11 and 13 year old children have altered biological clocks due to the hormones present in the body at those respective ages. An eleven year old would sleep at 9pm and wake up around 7am. However there is a 2 hour delay in a thirteen year old, and consequently they sleep at 11pm and wake up around 9am, which would make waking up for school very difficult. A bright light therapy was described in the documentary where a shining light was used to help reset a person’s biological clock, since our bodies actually use light as a stimulus to synchronise our biological clocks.

I am glad that I was able to catch the documentary showing as it will definitely make me think about my own sleeping patterns and how sleep isn’t as disposable as I make it to be. Time to sleep on it

I have been keeping up my three pillars of health so far; been eating healthier, and much more in general, been sleeping a tad earlier and doing a tad more exercise. And the best thing of it all is that I’m feeling much better. I’m more coherent, I feel more energised and in general I feel much better. So definitely reaping the benefits already.

Today was also lab meeting day where I had to present, and although I didn’t really feel like presenting I felt the talk went well, especially for how much preparation I had. Tonight was also “State of Origin” night so I went over to a friend’s place to watch the game. I don’t have a great understanding of the game, but it was still good to be more social. For the records, Queensland won tonight due to pretty sloppy play by NSW. I also passed by Borders and purchased Learning Perl The Fifth Edition, which I plan to read from start to finish.

I plan to start from the beginning and move forward to the more advanced Perl programming books. I have decided to be known as a Perl programmer due to the usefulness of the language. Again this is another dedication that I need to keep and although I won’t push myself too hard so that I burn out, but I will definitely try to keep up with my regular Perl reading. My current knowledge of Perl is just too scattered, and I hope I can start building the foundation towards a strong understanding of the language.

So I’ve been in a slump lately, which can be attributed to several factors; lack of sleep, lack of nutrition and lack of exercise. Coincidently, I was watching a documentary last week about sleep on SBS called “Awake is the new sleep”; it documented how lack of sleep can severely affect a person’s lifestyle. It was very intriguing, even though I knew the importance of sleep. An important message that was conveyed in the documentary and also why I brought up the documentary, was that to have a healthy lifestyle we need the three pillars of health which are composed of good nutrition, exercise and sleep. As such I suffered the consequences of having no pillars to support my health.

Today is the first day of the month, a good time to start a new regime. I went grocery shopping tonight and purchased almost 120 dollars worth of groceries. I bought lots of fruits, vegetables and breakfast! I’ve been buying food from the university for almost two weeks now, and besides wasting a lot of money, it has been unhealthy. I have also finished doing some light skipping and weights, and necessary cleaning of the bathroom! And my mind is definitely much more clear and active now. A week ago I would have difficulty writing my blog and just thinking concisely. I should really remember the importance of good health.

I know I can easily lose focus and lose track of things, but for once I would like to keep focused. It has been physically and mentally rewarding, and it is only day one.